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Okay, I really don't know what this is for, I'm just very bored. Uh, well let me tell you about me...I used to have a friend named WordPad, we were really close. I stopped talkin to it the first of february. It was tragic. I'm pretty much very screwed up, and I don't like that. I have trouble keeping my business to myself, but lately I've been getting alot better, it just takes some practice. I don't like people knowing what I'm feeling or thinking anymore. It's pointless. Makes me vulnerable, and that's stupid. Just so you know, I HATE, totally and completely despise, being depressed. 2 months ago, i was really depressed, and i made LOTS of mistakes, but HEY i learned alot from them, and yeah i was a complete idiot, but I'm human aren't I? (i sure hope so) and humans make mistakes. And thanks to all my mistakes, i lost michael, and pushed him very very far away, and since he's an idiot, he didn't help when i was tryin to reach to him, and now i just try and think: oh well, who cares? but I care, and I think that I should be mad at him, but I can never be mad at him, that's how I am. Miss Oh-So-Understanding. yeah, whatever. Sometimes I just want to tell him: <You're a freaking idiot, get over yourself, and GROW UP! Just because like about 15 girls like you doesn't mean you have to treat me like shit, I'm worth more than that, and you should know it. The only reason they like you is cuz they have no one else to like. They barely know you, if you haven't noticed. I freaking LOVE you, and you can't seem to understand that. I'm sick of you, and if that's what you want then wow you got it! Sometimes I really think that you don't deserve any one liking you, you're so damn cocky, and it's getting on EVERYONE's nerves! > well, anywayz, I want a new beginning, a second chance. Even though I'm afraid of commitment, I'll take risk. If only I could let him know in a way, that I won't be as uptight, that i've changed, I've changed so damn much, and I know that if we started over, that it wouldn't be the same, but maybe that's a good thing! You never know until you try it, and you're not even talking to me! It may be awkward, it may be hard, but think a little less about what the easiest thing is and start thinking about what's RIGHT. I won't go psycho depressed again, because I've learned to love myself, and I know not to depend on people so much, and it'll be better, so much damn better. I just want one more chance. A second chance. A New Beginning. Just let me show you who I am. Anywayz, i won't tell him any of that cuz I don't want to beg, or add more to his cockyness. I want him to figure it out himself, and I doubt he will and I just want to help him some way, so I guess I'll just leave him alone.
*If you love something, set it free, If it comes back, It was meant to be*
"New Beginning" by Trapt
The pressure is building I want to break away
Motivation is lacking the point starts to fade
I look to the bottom still empty still the same
I'm waiting for something to show me the way
To the path that I should take, it's just too real to go ahead and fake
Every step that I make
Name your price I would give anything
I want to start over again
What do I want I have nothing to say
Whatever it is I want it today
Do we choose our own ground Do we choose to stay
Well I've seen too many throw it away
Do I see just one small chance to be myself to try and make it last
Every step that I take |
